Beautiful Disaster

What do you do when you are so upset about something that you are physically sick?

I see where people get their slice inspiration, but I wouldn't dare.

What do you do when you are so upset about something that you can't physically sleep?

In fact, you are so upset that you can't even bring yourself to put your head on the pillow, because that too is trying to suffocate you?

What do you do when you are so upset about something that you find yourself gasping for air and your tummy is cramping through trying to breathe properly?

I tell you what you do:

You write a letter, by hand, to your best friend on narrow lined paper, telling her exactly how you feel. And cry some more. Then you text one of your best friends, the one who you know will still be up, and then feel guilty for burdening her with all your problems. You finally turn the light out and turn off the power on the big brother crew to rest down your head at 4am and you see a strange blue light coming from the far window to the left. So, naturally, you get up and head over, and gaze outside at the hazy blue in the air, realising the sun is about to rise.

Then you get excited, open up all of the curtains and actually realise the true beauty of morning, and run downstairs, throw on some clothes and sprint outside, scared you might miss the sun rise.

You run to the end of the garden, the still morning air waking your senses as you reach the fence at the end, and slowly walk along it to find the perfect spot to watch the sun rise.

A photo opportunity, so you run indoors and grab the camera, and on the way in you notice the orange moon in it's full glorly gazing through a perfectly circular gap in the trees.

Snap.

So you take it a step further, and go to the road and gaze across the fields where the horses would be grazing if it were not 4.20am.

It could have been Australia.

Beautiful :]

And then I went indoors and made myself an omelette, with more mushrooms than you could imagine, and made myself a glass of milk. I like having no company, it's peaceful and quiet and nobody having a go. I watched the news. Some nature people wanted to save the newts. Amazing those newts.

So here I am, it's 5.27 and have officially 4 hours before I need to even contemplate leaving the house.

I still feel sick, now that I've come back indoors. Maybe I should go back outside again?

When I find my camera cable I will upload my pictures...

I hate all this shifting from one room to another. I can't find any of my stuff.

And Alf has cut off all of the power in the lounge, so I can't even play piano.

So what do you do now?

Sing. Simple as that.

And wait for 9.30 to come. Then get mad when 1.30 comes.

xXx